ACO Raft Guide Diane Olin |
................ So, I attended a whitewater clinic this past Sunday, 06/16 and one of the very first things I was issued was a spray skirt to go along with the kayak............... My initial thought was; "Nope!" I love the river and I love to kayak but, the thought of flipping over and being held down by my legs trapped under that skirt in the kayak was terrifying to me..............
Having very dear and trusted friends not only with me but, but also as my instructors helped me to at least go down to the river with my equipment and watch. 🙂still not quite sure if I could or even wanted to overcome this fear by getting in the water!
To begin with my teacher and friend, Don Nelson explained he first would do; “the Hand of God roll” which would mean he would flip me upside down in my kayak but, then he would turn me back up right side up. My job was simply to hold my breath and trust he would flip me back over . Success!
I'm upside down, inside my kayak. |
I can feel "the Hand of God" pulling me upright. |
Next, it was time to trust in myself and my ability when it flipped to perform a self rescue.......Not too sure about this since it would mean tucking my body forward, hugging then tapping the sides of my boat three times, (this is done to keep you calm and in control) Once I'd done that I was to pull the ripcord to remove the skirt, then use my hands braced on the sides to slide my body out of my kayak.......... Wait, what? The thoughts I had right before he was about to flip me over were; "this is kind of like being baptized." I spoke those words to Don and Brian right before they flipped me, not really realizing at the time how profound they were, and the lesson I was learning.
They did flip my kayak upside down then let go. At that moment I knew I was alone under that river water, my legs trapped. I also knew my way out, if only I could trust enough in myself..............At no moment did I even consider the equipment not working or my friends not being able to get me out. My worry and fear was rooted in my ability alone.........Why??
"You can do this, Diane. I'm right here and won't let anything happen to you." |
The truth was I wasn’t alone. I was safe. They would never had let anything happen to me.
I think life can give us experiences that sometimes aren’t necessarily good or kind. Those experiences have the power to alter the way we see things and even trust others .Fear itself can be life saving. It’s a healthy response to danger and can keep us safe. However, there can be an unhealthy fear as well. Fear that can be so severe it can and will debilitate some of us , especially those who have been exposed to trauma. That fear can keep us from living the full life God truly intended for us to have if we are not careful. Overcoming fear and life circumstances is not easy but, it is possible!
On my drive home I thought back to the day I was baptized in that very same river. That water Baptism represented a new beginning for my life............That day I had to make a decision to be set free of sin. I I had to want that new beginning. After the decision was made in my heart then the Pastor lowered me into the water..........This past Sunday I again had to make a decision first, only this decision was to be set free of fear. A decision to believe again in myself - a decision to trust those with me. After the decision was made in my head and heart then those boys flipped me and I was set free!!
Free from my kayak, and free from my fear! |